if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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