They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
