The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
