Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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