I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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