Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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