Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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