Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ugly people sure do ruin things
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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