You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
