Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
