he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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