So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
