I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize