Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
