ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
