i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize