Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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