The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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