You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dick very happy bro
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
