yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
