Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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