naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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