i don't like sucking hair
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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