Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
