You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
