i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The best revenge is premature balding
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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