i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
