Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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