i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
