Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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