yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
