Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
