I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
