I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
