i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i barfeds in our rink
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
