We're facebook friends in real life
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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