sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
