the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
