I just pynch a tree in the face
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
