Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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