She went from zero to smokin in five shots
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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