Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
