I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize