i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Semen is not good for contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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