I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You've changed since you got that strap on
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
