Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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