Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
