he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
