Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize