ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
