chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
