is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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