She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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