3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
