he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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