He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
