No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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