the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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