there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
