Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
