Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
