You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
