what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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