they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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