I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
