Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
