Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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