Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
they're like a gay fantastic four
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
