I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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